I Just Pick My [expletive redacted] Landline Phone and Dial
Last month when I changed my internet service in order to get the rock bottom price, I was saddled with a Landline, which I have pretty much only used to bitch at Comcast. The landline phone I use currently is serviceable, but not especially fashionable. I went cell phone exclusively about ten years ago and it’s fine when I’m actually in Virginia, where my phone number is from and oddly enough, the folks there allow for the possibility of having another area code. Conversely, this has caused me great trouble (and suspicion) in Vermont, which is a tad more dogmatic in its area code pride. Perhaps some bitterness at not being included in Ludicris’ jam:
In addition to having a phone number I can use for business cards and another way of being harassed by telemarketers, there is excitement about actually purchasing a really cool phone!
Crosley Princess Phone
Crosley makes such fantastic retro items. I have their 4-1 Record Turntable and enjoy it muchly. So I was eager to see what kind of retro phone new hotness they could bring into my life. This blue phone is perfect! I don’t know if it is as weighty as the model it seeks to imitate, but I bet it gives a nice satisfying sound when its receiver is slammed onto the cradle. Not that I’m the sort of person who engaged in such untoward behavior.
Crosley Kettle Classic Vintage Desk Phone
Oh. My. Goodness. This phone is amazing. Now, there’s a phone that can really tell someone to “fuck off” when you slam the damn receiver onto the cradle! And it look gorgeous even in repose. I’m pretty dazzled by this model, which also comes in metallic pink and metallic purple. Though I’m pretty much married to the blue.
Solid Wood Sultan Phone
Nothing says, “Old Timey smackdown!” like this phone. It’s probably a bit more phone than I need, but it’s so awesome. This is the kind of prop I could use when I’m pretending not to have good reception – since I don’t live in an area which has subways – and trying to hang up on phone drones. Most folks are wise to my hang-up-on-myself-during-a-monologue racket. Well, it was great while it lasted!
Here’s some Sheena Easton for you: