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I Just Pick My [expletive redacted] Landline Phone and Dial


Crosley 302 Desk Phone

Last month when I changed my internet service in order to get the rock bottom price, I was saddled with a Landline, which I have pretty much only used to bitch at Comcast. The landline phone I use currently is serviceable, but not especially fashionable. I went cell phone exclusively about ten years ago and it’s fine when I’m actually in Virginia, where my phone number is from and oddly enough, the folks there allow for the possibility of having another area code. Conversely, this has caused me great trouble (and suspicion) in Vermont, which is a tad more dogmatic in its area code pride. Perhaps some bitterness at not being included in Ludicris’ jam:

In addition to having a phone number I can use for business cards and another way of being harassed by telemarketers, there is excitement about actually purchasing a really cool phone!

blue phone!

Crosley Princess Phone
Crosley makes such fantastic retro items. I have their 4-1 Record Turntable and enjoy it muchly. So I was eager to see what kind of retro phone new hotness they could bring into my life. This blue phone is perfect! I don’t know if it is as weighty as the model it seeks to imitate, but I bet it gives a nice satisfying sound when its receiver is slammed onto the cradle. Not that I’m the sort of person who engaged in such untoward behavior.

sparkle motion!

Crosley Kettle Classic Vintage Desk Phone
Oh. My. Goodness. This phone is amazing. Now, there’s a phone that can really tell someone to “fuck off” when you slam the damn receiver onto the cradle! And it look gorgeous even in repose. I’m pretty dazzled by this model, which also comes in metallic pink and metallic purple. Though I’m pretty much married to the blue.

Old timey

Solid Wood Sultan Phone
Nothing says, “Old Timey smackdown!” like this phone. It’s probably a bit more phone than I need, but it’s so awesome. This is the kind of prop I could use when I’m pretending not to have good reception – since I don’t live in an area which has subways – and trying to hang up on phone drones. Most folks are wise to my hang-up-on-myself-during-a-monologue racket. Well, it was great while it lasted!

Here’s some Sheena Easton for you:

11 Comments leave one →
  1. aliciamaud permalink
    06/26/2010 4:58 pm

    OMG, that Crosley desk phone…be still my heart!

  2. A Sarah permalink
    06/26/2010 5:35 pm

    I want to memorialize the Crosley kettle phone in cake.

    Am I correct that this is a post about telephones with several musical references that do not include Lady Gaga? Awesome.

  3. 06/26/2010 5:37 pm

    I watched that video, and that got me started on other favorite telephone songs. Blondie’s “Call Me” is still a winner, though “Hanging on the Telephone” hasn’t aged as well. ELO’s “Telephone Line” gets my blood pumping.

  4. 06/26/2010 6:04 pm

  5. Adrian permalink
    06/27/2010 3:34 am

    I really like the metallic blue phone. It looks like it would work well with your existing furnishings and decor scheme.

  6. ryan permalink
    06/27/2010 3:37 am

    Does anyone still use land lines at home?

  7. Henrietta permalink
    06/27/2010 3:40 am

    “Am I correct that this is a post about telephones with several musical references that do not include Lady Gaga? Awesome.”

    Yes. That was really a relief.

  8. Sara no H permalink
    06/27/2010 3:57 am

    I want the pink version of the mettalic phone! It’s dreamy!

  9. 06/29/2010 3:45 pm

    My parents were trying to sell their original aqua princess telephone at rummage last month, looks a lot like the Crosley. Oddly, someone bought the cord. It is indeed weighty.

    If you are interested, I can see about cleaning it up and testing it out this weekend to mail it to you as a gift for the aqua July month.

  10. 06/29/2010 10:44 pm

    Omg, TG. Whoa. That would rule!

  11. 06/30/2010 1:30 pm

    Expect a photo in your email by the end of Sunday, in the event that it is more appealing in my memory than reality.

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