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The Story of Five Things


When I saw this ring in a Hot Topic bargain basket by the register many moons ago it immediately reminded me of a Sorry! game piece, even though I don’t think the game actually has a hot pink piece. Still, it made me all nostalgic for summers nights playing Sorry! and watching tempers rise as the mercury fell.

The health and beauty clearance section of any TJMaxx type store yields so many lulz. There are second rate product specifically designed for their duties as horrible gifts given to you by thoughtless coworkers and relatives. You have no way of evaluating the products, unless a jar or bottle of fresh pear scented body product (which smells like ASS) happens to have exploded. So it was in the case of this room spray, which had me at, “smells of old library”. I guess that meant moldy smell of an old closet in a house about to be demolished. It has a great top note, which is musky in a library kind of way but then rest of the notes are acrid and do not play well together. But can I really complain when I only $.50 for it and mostly want the product for the bottle.

In addition to lamps, tables and chairs, I have a fondness for glassware. Martini glasses for drinks that will never served shaken nor stirred. Highball glasses for nightcaps that will never been tossed theatrically into someone’s lying face. Most of my glassware love comes from endless viewing of nighttime soaps, where the characters are always observed socially lubricated and looking for some confrontation. I found these glasses for the ridiculous price of $.19 each and I had to have them. For a scoop of ashtray change I can recreate stellar moments of soap opera dialog sipping on iced tea or apple juice (just like soap actors) in the comfort of my own home.

Craftfail notwithstanding, how much do I love me some rubber rain boots. I wear these boots nearly every day from the first snow fall to the last day of mud season, which lasts until May or June depending on when winter decides to move to the southern hemisphere. Despite having a nicer pair, I tend to fall back on these because they are super tall and don’t make it appear as though I have adult size feet.

Emily, the futon is the pleatherly slice of heaven where I spend 80% of my time when I’m home. I absolutely LOVE this futon. It’s about as comfortable as my mattress and my mattress is very comfy. Despite being a futon, it’s my first real piece of grown up furniture besides the aforementioned bed. I don’t know what that says about my tenuous grasp on adulthood, so let’s just admire Emily, shall we.

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